Reality TV Consulting

You’ve always wanted to be on reality TV. You sent applications to TV networks, but never got accepted. You just have to get on TV and make a fool of yourself, but you haven’t gotten any acceptance letter from Big Brother yet. What is a Middle America Television Slave Zombie to do?

Hire a consultant to get you on TV. That’s right, pay money to make yourself look like an idiot! Woohoo!

There is a new site that, for $25 a year, will try to get you on TV. Just jot down all your exotic qualities (TV likes people who have nipple piercings) and a bunch of execs will comb through the database of applicants for the right kind of idiots. You know, one black guy, one jew, and twenty blonde retards. Then they’ll contact you and get you on TV. Nothing could be easier!

Millions of Americans apply every year to be on Reality Television for personal fulfillment, to find love, change careers, or simply to experience a once in a lifetime opportunity. provides you with the most simple, yet sophisticated, way to pursue your RTV dream.

HA! How very sad. Today’s stupid people are the losers paying to get on reality TV.

[Editor’s note: Cross-posted by original author.]

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