David Moore, 47, of Belmont, N.H., committed suicide sometime after Thanksgiving using a homemade guillotine. But his plans for his death went far beyond that. He had placed homemade Molotov cocktails in the walls of his home, and wired them up to electric power on a timer, set to go off shortly after he killed himself, to burn down his house.

The two bomb squad officers who came determined that they weren’t exactly bombs - they were Molotov cocktails made out of 12-oz. Aquafina water bottles that each contained about two ounces of gasoline. Whereas a bomb would cause an explosion, Molotov cocktails are simply incendiary, [state police bomb squad Sgt. Andy] Parsons said. Instead of blowing up, they would ignite with a loud pop or boom and start a fire, probably destroying the man’s house but not endangering any neighbors. . . .

“He had literally punched holes in the Sheetrock walls of his house and stuffed the bottles in there, but he had also punched holes in the bottom portion of the walls and stuffed them with newspaper,” he said.

The bottles were connected to wires that were plugged into an electric device timer, Parsons said. The timer was plugged into a power strip, like many people use for their computers. The power strip was plugged into an outlet, but the devices never ignited because the power strip was switched off. — Concord Monitor

That’s right, Moore’s plan for a posthumous house fire, which I can only speculate would be to cover up his suicide, failed, all due to not checking one simple little detail. And for that, Moore posthumously becomes today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

If you have regular thoughts of committing suicide, please call someone first. Even if you think they can’t understand what you’re going through. There is someone out there who does understand because they’ve been through something like it before. Everybody has problems, and suicide doesn’t make the problems go away; it makes you go away, which — even if you can’t see it — is going to hurt someone very much.

The Waterloo-Cedar Falls (Iowa) Courier ran an obituary last week for Daniel “D.J.” Reddout, 17, saying that he had died from complications from surgery Dec. 24, after receiving the information from a man who said he was the teenager’s father. The only problem is, D.J. was quite alive and well.

His mother, Mary Jo Jensen, had “jokingly” told her boyfriend, James Snyder, that Reddout had died.

She said it was a case of bad communication.

“I had let my boyfriend know he was doing very, very badly at the hospital, and jokingly I said that he had passed away, and he took upon himself to put the obituary in,” Jensen said.

“It was a mistake, and I apologize for that,” she said. — Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier

There’s humor, and then there’s stupidity. Mary Jo Jensen doesn’t seem to have figured out the difference, and thus becomes today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Two men in Manila, Philippines, became the first Stupid People of the Day for 2006 after killing themselves by ingesting fireworks.

Health Secretary Francisco Duque said two other people have died from ingesting a deadly brand of fireworks several days prior to New Year’s eve and appeared to be cases of suicide. — DPA

The two fatalities were both mentally disturbed adult males who swallowed firecrackers, it said. — AFP

You’re supposed to light the fireworks and then get away fast, rather than eating them.

Rigoberto Alpizar, 44, of Maitland, Fla., had just boarded a flight from Miami to Orlando when he suddenly jumped up and claimed he had a bomb in his backpack. Federal air marshals pursued him when he tried to run off the airplane.

According to a witness, the man frantically ran down the aisle of the Boeing 757, flailing his arms, while his wife tried to explain that he was mentally ill and had not taken his medication.

The passenger indicated there was a bomb in his bag and was confronted by air marshals but ran off the aircraft, Doyle said. The marshals went after him and ordered him to get down on the ground, but he did not comply and was shot when he apparently reached into the bag, Doyle said.

The plane, Flight 924, had arrived in Miami from Medellin, Colombia, just after noon, and the shooting occurred shortly after 2 p.m. as the plane was about to take off for Orlando with the man and 119 other passengers and crew, American spokesman Tim Wagner said. . . .

Gardner said she heard the woman say her husband was bipolar — a mental illness also known as manic-depression — and had not had his medication. — Associated Press

Thanks to our friends at The Jawa Report for the tip. This story is also being covered at Homeland Stupidity.

If you tell federal air marshals you have a bomb in your backpack, and then reach into it, they’re going to shoot you. That should be fairly obvious, and what’s why Rigoberto Alpizar is today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

A man in Mount Prospect, Ill., fell over his second-story balcony and died Tuesday during a spitting contest, according to local police.

Bartosz Drobek, 23, of the 1700 block of West Palm Drive was on the balcony of his apartment smoking cigarettes with his brother and a friend about 12:30 a.m. Monday. As Drobek was getting ready to spit, he lost his balance and fell about 20 feet, hitting his head on the pavement, said Mt. Prospect Police Officer Dirk Ollech.

Drobek was taken to Advocate Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge in critical condition. He was pronounced dead shortly after noon Tuesday.

Although his fall is believed to be accidental, police are investigating it. An autopsy will be conducted Wednesday. — South Florida Sun-Sentinel

No word yet on whether alcohol was involved, though I wouldn’t doubt it. Bartosz Drobek posthumously receives today’s Stupid Person of the Day award.

In the northern latitudes, when winter comes, one can expect ice to form on top of local rivers and lakes. Many people enjoy going out on the ice to walk, skate, fish, and even drive across them. However, when you go out too early, and the ice isn’t thick enough to support your weight, then you run the risk of breaking the ice, falling through, and not being able to get out.

Three people died Friday in two separate accidents on ice-covered ponds in eastern Wisconsin.

In Cedar Grove, Wis., about 40 miles (64km) north of Milwaukee, Megan Obbink, 9, was skating on the ice on a local pond when she fell through. Her father, Brian Obbink, 44, went out to try to save her, but he too fell in. Both drowned, and rescuers pulled out their bodies Friday evening.

The ice was reported to be less than 3 inches (76mm) thick.

In a separate accident in Lyndon, Wis., about 10 miles (16km) northwest of Cedar Grove, Cody Lechler, 12, was riding an all-terrain vehicle across an ice-covered pond when he and the vehicle fell through. Rescuers recovered his body late Friday. He had been out hunting with an adult neighbor who was unnamed in news reports.

Today we have two Stupid People of the Day: Brian Obbink, who allowed his daughter to die needlessly, and then died himself; and the unnamed adult who will have to live with Cody’s death for the rest of his life.

“There is no such thing as safe ice,” said Sheboygan County Sheriff’s Deputy Jim Opgenorth.

Today’s Stupid Person of the Day is a French woman who has admitted attempting to open a plane door mid-flight in order to smoke a cigarette.

Sandrine Helene Sellies, 34, who has a fear of flying, had drunk alcohol and taken sleeping tablets ahead of the flight from Hong Kong to Brisbane.

She was seen on the Cathay Pacific plane walking towards a door with an unlit cigarette and a lighter.

She then began tampering with the emergency exit until she was stopped by a flight attendant. — BBC News

She pleaded guilty to endangering the safety of the aircraft and has been given a 12 month good behaviour bond.

As she is currently at the beginning of a 3 week holiday with her husband in Australia it is unclear whether or not she will be allowed on the plane on the way home!

An unnamed suspect in St. Petersburg, Fla., is in custody after allegedly hitting and killing a homeless man, and driving several miles with the man’s body impaled on his windshield.

The driver was stopped at the southbound Interstate 275 tollbooth of the Sunshine Skyway, police said.

The man had been hit more than three miles away at 46th Avenue South and 34th Street South, police said. He apparently was struck by the car while crossing 34th Street. The impact severed one leg and wedged him through the windshield.

Shortly before 8:30 p.m., [Wednesday] the car pulled into a middle tollbooth lane where motorists pay $1 to cross the bridge.

Police said the driver was detained and an a ambulance was called. The driver, identified only as an elderly man, was taken to a hospital. — Tampa Tribune

Today’s unnamed Stupid Person of the Day had not yet been charged with a crime at the time this article was published.

When Deleese Williams, 30, of Conroe, Texas, was thrown off the television show Extreme Makeover at the last minute, her sister killed herself. Now Williams is suing ABC.

She claims a TV crew tricked her sister Kellie McGee into making cruel remarks about her looks before the makeover.

ABC cancelled the appearance, saying her jaw would take too long to heal, and her sister was left distraught about making the remarks, she claims.

Extreme Makeover follows people having drastic plastic surgery and Mrs Williams was due to have work on her teeth, eyes and breasts.

Her legal action said “Deleese Williams is considered ugly” and said a doctor promised her “a Hollywood smile like Cindy Crawford”.

Programme-makers visited the contestant’s family in Texas before the makeover was due to start in January 2004.

The legal action claims they manipulated Ms McGee into saying unkind things about her sister’s looks on camera.

But the contestant was told hours before the makeover was due to begin that it had been cancelled.

When she returned home from Los Angeles unchanged, Ms McGee became so upset over what she had said that she killed herself, the legal action states.

“Sometimes Deleese blames herself for Kellie’s death,” it says. ABC was unavailable for comment. — BBC News

Suing won’t bring your sister back, and you’ve become today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Today’s Stupid Person of the Day took himself out of the gene pool. Richard Vega, 24, was participating in a “Hands on the Hardbody” contest in Longview, Texas, where participants keep their hands on a pickup truck, and the last person with his hand still on the truck wins the truck.

Almost three days into the contest, he suddenly left, walked across the street, broke into K-Mart, grabbed a gun, and fatally shot himself.

Cox News Service reported Vega walked away from the truck after remaining in place for three days and smashed a window at a K-Mart across the street. Police officers who arrived just before 6 a.m. found Vega walking from the back of the store with a gun in his hands which he used to shoot himself.

Dru Laborde, program director for KYKX radio, said he talked to Vega just before he dropped out.

“He was fine,” Laborde said. — UPI

The Gun Guys have some more information.

The identities of the dead may not be known for weeks or even months, and some of the bodies may never be recovered if they float out onto Lake Pontchartrain through a breached levee.

I’ve blogged extensively elsewhere about Hurricane Katrina and the swath of destruction it’s left in New Orleans and the surrounding areas. One thing I haven’t really talked much about is the mandatory evacuation order.

New Orleans major C. Ray Nagin ordered everyone to leave the city fully 24 hours before the hurricane hit, and most did. Thousands, however, could not evacuate.

The airport had been closed down Sunday morning, preventing tourists from leaving, even though it easily could have operated through the afternoon or early evening, allowing people to escape.

Thousands more residents simply don’t have cars, or were left behind by friends and relatives who did have cars and did evacuate.

And untold thousands did have cars, and refused to leave.

An evacuation order in New Orleans is a very unusual thing. It’s not ordered unless it looks like a hurricane will pretty much directly hit the city. Which it did, and it did.

There’s stupidity enough for a week right there. And most of the stupid people are now missing or dead. To be completely fair, those who could not evacuate were simply caught in a terrible circumstance; it’s those who could leave, and refused to, to whom today’s post is dedicated.

A Colombian soldier went absent without leave, got drunk, and threw a grenade into a street party, killing five people, including a seven year old boy, according to military and civilian authorities.

The soldier went absent without leave from his base in the southwestern province of Huila and got drunk in the town of El Jardin before detonating the grenade, said an official at the nearby municipality of San Jose de Isnos.

Five people were killed and eight injured in the incident, the official said.

The army arrested the soldier and began a criminal investigation under military law, an army spokesman said. — The Australian

Everyone knows that alcohol makes you stupid. Mix in some grenades, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Today’s Stupid Person of the Day hasn’t died yet, but she’s well on her way.

The woman, who was not named in news reports, filed a complaint with the New Hampshire Attorney General when her doctor, Dr. Terry Bennett of Rochester, urged her to lose weight.

“It’s an epidemic in the United States, and it’s croaking us,” Bennett said.

Bennett said that it’s a lecture he gives to many of his overweight patients.

“It’s your weight, … and there’s dozens of programs,” Bennett said. “You don’t have to come in here. You can join Jenny Craig. You can go see Weight Watchers.”

Bennett said he tells obese patients that their weight is bad for their health and their love lives. But the lecture drove one patient to write a letter to the Board of Medicine, which has passed on the complaint to the Attorney General’s Office.

“Did I sleep with somebody? Did I give somebody drugs? Was I careless? No. End of story,” Bennett said. “That should have been the end of it.” — NewsNet5.com

Bennett apologized on local TV for offending the woman. Which perhaps puts him in the stupid category, too.

Today’s Stupid Person of the Day was identified only by his last name. Lee, 28, of Taegu, South Korea, died last Friday in an Internet cafe after playing Starcraft for 49 hours straight.

Lee was quickly rushed to a hospital but died after a few hours, due to what doctors are presuming was a heart attack, police said.

Lee had been fired from his job last month because he kept missing work to play computer games, police said. — China Daily

All things in moderation.

A Kentucky man shot and killed his friend after a disagreement over the Iraq war heated up.

Douglas Moore, 65, of Martin, shot and killed Harold Wayne Smith, 56, of Manchester, at a Floyd County flea market on Thursday.

Kentucky state police said he appeared to have acted in self-defense and released him without filing charges.

Another witness, Chuck Newsome, said yesterday the Sept. 11 attacks also were included in the argument, which quickly escalated into an altercation and then to a kind of showdown in front of the market’s snack stand.

After a scuffle, Newsome said he saw Smith stand beside the snack shed, pull a small pistol out of his pocket, cock the hammer and say, “I’m going to blow your … brains out.” — Lexington Herald-Leader

“I’m sorry this has happened,” Moore, a retired railroad worker, said. “But then what’s done can’t be undone.” Moore told the Lexington reporter he thinks Smith and his family knew him well enough “to know what my thoughts are, his family does, because me and Harold was friends. That’s all I’ll say.” — Editor & Publisher

Well, that’s one way to settle a dispute: a good old-fashioned Wild West showdown at high noon.