Woman tries to hire hitman for cheese

Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, of Memphis, Tenn., saw a block of queso fresco cheese at the house of four acquaintances when she got the bright idea to have them killed.

In an unusual case of mistaken identity, a woman who thought a block of white cheese was cocaine is charged with trying to hire a hit man to rob and kill four men. The woman also was mistaken about the hit man. He turned out to be an undercover police officer.

Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, was arrested over the weekend and remains in jail with bond set at $1 million on four charges of attempted murder and four counts of soliciting a murder.

According to police, Booth was in the Memphis home of the four intended victims last week when she mistook a block of queso fresco cheese for cocaine — inspiring the idea to hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs, and kill the men. . . .

A search of the home with the permission of the occupants revealed no drugs — only the white, crumbly cheese common in Mexican cuisine.

“Four men were going to lose their lives over some cheese,’ said Lt. Jeff Clark, who heads Project Safe Neighborhoods. — Associated Press

If you’re going to hatch a scheme like this, beware that most hitmen are actually undercover police officers. You aren’t likely to be able to afford a real hitman. And Jessica Sandy Booth, for mistaking cheese for cocaine, becomes today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Drunken Playboy Playmates arrested after flight

Two Playboy Playmates were arrested Sunday in San Antonio, Texas, when they got drunk on a flight from Denver to San Antonio and started fighting with each other, and then with other passengers. They were taken into custody, and offered to sleep with the arresting officers.

Danielle Gamba, 23, and Carrie Minter, 22, were allegedly so drunk on the plane that they were deemed a danger to themselves and others. . . .

San Antonio authorities say the episode became even more bizarre when Gamba made sexual advances toward two police officers in an attempt to avoid arrest. — Rocky Mountain News

“One of the women started saying she was a celebrity and that’s why the passenger who complained ‘shouldn’t mess with her,’ and that sort of thing,’ David Hebert, a spokesman for the San Antonio airport, told CBS.

Danielle Gamba and Carrie Minter are tied for today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Drunk man gets testicles locked in padlock for two weeks

An unidentified man in Exeter, N.H., got drunk one night and had a padlock locked around his testicles by one of his friends. Then the key broke off in the lock and this idiot waited two weeks before calling for help.

Police have not identified the 39-year-old man, but said that after the key broke off, he tried sawing the lock off with a hacksaw.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident. — Internet Broadcasting Systems

Now I don’t know about you, but I not only wouldn’t let a hacksaw anywhere near my testicles in the first place, I wouldn’t let a padlock anywhere near them either, no matter how drunk I was. Oh, and the motive is pretty obvious. As soon as police identify him, please mail a brand new padlock to today’s Stupid Person of the Day to replace the one destroyed in this incident.

Thanks to The Jawa Report.