Drunken yobs post hamster

David Jordan and James Cole, undergraduates at Cambridge University in the U.K., have been fined for posting a live hamster.

The pair put the hamster in a standard A5 envelope and posted it in Market Street, Cambridge, on 22 June.

Michael Taylor, prosecuting for the RSPCA, said: “The hamster had been posted in a sealed, addressed envelope which contained no food and no source of fluid.

“The postman who emptied the box made the discovery because it was trying to chew its way out of the envelope. A veterinary surgeon who examined the hamster said, had it ended up in the sorting office and its mechanical sorting drum, the creature could have been killed.’ — Cambridge Evening News

Jordan was fined £750 and Cole £500, and both become today’s Stupid People of the Day.

(More information available from Daily Telegraph and from BBC: What can’t you send through the post?)

Drunk dropped on desert island

A man on a Monarch Airlines flight from Manchester, England, to Tenerife, Canary Islands, became drunk and began abusing the flight crew, and the captain diverted and threw him off the plane on Porto Santo, a tiny desert island.

The unidentified man swore at crew and passengers after being refused a bottle of wine on the four-hour flight from Manchester to Tenerife.

He became so abusive the fed-up pilot diverted the Monarch Airlines Airbus to Porto Santo island off West Africa.

After the plane touched down, the man was marched off by police and had his luggage dumped on the tarmac.

The plane and its remaining passengers then took off again for Tenerife, where it landed almost four hours late after the unscheduled stop. — BBC News

The man eventually did get off the island, after a day and a half of sobering up.

The man is said to have later travelled to Madeira and from there to Tenerife by flight for a holiday there. A police spokesperson in Madeira said he was charged by the police and he could face a prison term. Although he is in Tenerife, the legal process will continue, the police said. — Vip News

The problem? The crew cut him off after he drank too much. The man, who was unnamed in news reports, is today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Man gets 2 year old drunk while mother is giving birth

Juan Reyes, 37, of Patchogue, N.Y., was arrested and charged with child endangerment Tuesday after Suffolk County sheriff’s deputies investigating a family court case went to his home and found him passed out on the floor and a two year old boy stumbling around drunk.

A three year old also in the house at the time was apparently sober.

They managed to rouse Reyes, who was the only adult at home with the two toddlers, ages 2 and 3, according to the sheriff’s office. The deputies said Reyes appeared extremely intoxicated.

The deputies also noticed the 2-year-old was having difficulty standing, had bloodshot eyes, smelled of alcohol and was lethargic.

The toddler was taken to the hospital, where tests revealed he was legally intoxicated, with a blood-alcohol content of 0.094 percent, the sheriff’s office said. In New York, a driver is considered drunk with an alcohol content of 0.08 percent or greater.

The second child was taken into the custody of Child Protective Services.

At the time, the children’s parents were at a hospital, where the mother was giving birth. — Associated Press

This is not the man you want babysitting your children, even if as in this case he lives with you. Juan Reyes, who is being held on $5,000 bond, becomes today’s Stupid Person of the Day. He will appear in court January 3.

Columbus mayor’s wife sentenced for drunk driving

Frankie Coleman, wife to Columbus, Ohio, mayor Michael Coleman, pleaded guilty to drunk driving and was sentenced Wednesday to three days in jail and a six month driver’s license suspension.

Columbus is the capital of Ohio.

Dash-cam video captured Columbus’s first lady having difficulty walking a straight line after apparently slamming her car into a parked truck.

Mayor Michael Coleman made the trip to the Bexley police headquarters, coming to the rescue of his wife after she failed a breathalyzer test.

At earlier hearings her attorneys challenged the legality of that test claiming the officer’s certification had expired. Ultimately that challenge failed, setting the stage for Wednesday’s formal sentencing.

At an earlier hearing, she plead guilty to driving while impaired and failing to control her car. — Ohio News Now

The incident has pretty much torpedoed any chance Coleman had of running for governor, and for that his wife, Frankie, is today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Woman tries to hire hitman for cheese

Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, of Memphis, Tenn., saw a block of queso fresco cheese at the house of four acquaintances when she got the bright idea to have them killed.

In an unusual case of mistaken identity, a woman who thought a block of white cheese was cocaine is charged with trying to hire a hit man to rob and kill four men. The woman also was mistaken about the hit man. He turned out to be an undercover police officer.

Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, was arrested over the weekend and remains in jail with bond set at $1 million on four charges of attempted murder and four counts of soliciting a murder.

According to police, Booth was in the Memphis home of the four intended victims last week when she mistook a block of queso fresco cheese for cocaine — inspiring the idea to hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs, and kill the men. . . .

A search of the home with the permission of the occupants revealed no drugs — only the white, crumbly cheese common in Mexican cuisine.

“Four men were going to lose their lives over some cheese,’ said Lt. Jeff Clark, who heads Project Safe Neighborhoods. — Associated Press

If you’re going to hatch a scheme like this, beware that most hitmen are actually undercover police officers. You aren’t likely to be able to afford a real hitman. And Jessica Sandy Booth, for mistaking cheese for cocaine, becomes today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Drunken Playboy Playmates arrested after flight

Two Playboy Playmates were arrested Sunday in San Antonio, Texas, when they got drunk on a flight from Denver to San Antonio and started fighting with each other, and then with other passengers. They were taken into custody, and offered to sleep with the arresting officers.

Danielle Gamba, 23, and Carrie Minter, 22, were allegedly so drunk on the plane that they were deemed a danger to themselves and others. . . .

San Antonio authorities say the episode became even more bizarre when Gamba made sexual advances toward two police officers in an attempt to avoid arrest. — Rocky Mountain News

“One of the women started saying she was a celebrity and that’s why the passenger who complained ‘shouldn’t mess with her,’ and that sort of thing,’ David Hebert, a spokesman for the San Antonio airport, told CBS.

Danielle Gamba and Carrie Minter are tied for today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

Couple poisons, kills their own infant

Mardala Derival and Mackenson Dantus, of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., were arrested in Trenton, N.J., Thursday, after being accused of poisoning their three-month-old baby to death with alcohol.

Detectives with the Broward Sheriff’s Office convinced a couple accused of feeding their 3-month old baby a lethal dose of vodka to surrender to New Jersey authorities Thursday, officials said. . . .

“We spoke to them for an extended period of time and convinced them that they needed to turn themselves in,’ said Elizabeth Calzadilla-Fiallo, a Broward sheriff’s spokeswoman. “Our fugitive squad detectives did a good job of convincing them that this was the best thing for everyone involved.’

The couple are accused of feeding their daughter, Makeisha Dantus, a mixture of formula, water, sugar and vodka in an attempt to quiet her on Feb. 13, 2004. The infant’s blood alcohol level was 0.47 percent, according to the Broward County Medical Examiner’s office. The legal limit for drivers in Florida is 0.08 percent.

The couple, who authorities said are Haitian immigrants, were not charged until Oct. 28, 2005. By that time, they had disappeared from Florida. Dantus told Trenton authorities that he and Derival had been staying with relatives in the city. — New York Newsday

While feeding babies very small amounts of alcohol is considered a way to “quiet crying babies’ in some cultures, killing your own baby by using far too much definitely qualifies you for Stupid Person of the Day.

Man falls from balcony, dies in spitting contest

A man in Mount Prospect, Ill., fell over his second-story balcony and died Tuesday during a spitting contest, according to local police.

Bartosz Drobek, 23, of the 1700 block of West Palm Drive was on the balcony of his apartment smoking cigarettes with his brother and a friend about 12:30 a.m. Monday. As Drobek was getting ready to spit, he lost his balance and fell about 20 feet, hitting his head on the pavement, said Mt. Prospect Police Officer Dirk Ollech.

Drobek was taken to Advocate Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge in critical condition. He was pronounced dead shortly after noon Tuesday.

Although his fall is believed to be accidental, police are investigating it. An autopsy will be conducted Wednesday. — South Florida Sun-Sentinel

No word yet on whether alcohol was involved, though I wouldn’t doubt it. Bartosz Drobek posthumously receives today’s Stupid Person of the Day award.

Drunk scrapped evidence in drunk driving homicide case

Scott A. Weber, 25, of Independence, Mo., a suburb of Kansas City, was sentenced Tuesday to 120 days in jail, substance abuse treatment, and three years probation in the deaths of two pedestrians in a September 2004 drunk driving accident.

Weber, who had a previous conviction for driving while intoxicated, told police he did not remember leaving a friend’s house the night Roxanne M. Bradshaw, 47, and Juan G. Avila, 32, were killed. Before leaving, he had consumed a half-pint of bourbon and taken a muscle relaxer.

Police in suburban Liberty said Weber was “incoherent and confused’ and his vehicle was damaged when they stopped him that night.

Weber pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter, drunken driving and leaving the scene of the crash. If he successfully completes probation, the convictions will be wiped from his record. — Associated Press

But there’s more. Prosecutors wanted to throw the book at him, but they agreed to the unusually light sentence because key evidence in the case, his car, was inadvertently sold for scrap.

The car was critical to the case because no witnesses could identify Weber as the driver, prosecutor Teresa Moore said.

The director of the city tow lot at the time of the mistake, Clay Ancell, resigned in January after he was arrested in a city-owned vehicle for allegedly driving while drunk on a suspended license. — Associated Press

That’s right, we have two drunk drivers today! One killed two people, and the other one let him get away with it. Clay Ancell, who was most likely drunk at work when the “mistake’ occurred, is most definitely the Stupid Person of the Day.

Drunk man wets bed, sets fire to house

You’re drunk. You pass out. You wake up with a splitting headache, and find what you drank the previous night is now all over the bed. What do you do?

If you’re one 60-year-old German man in Mülheim, you plug in a hair dryer, put it on the bed, and leave. And when you get back, your house has burned down.

A German man drank too much, wet his bed and set fire to his apartment while trying to dry his bedding, police in the western town of Muelheim said Monday.

“He was too drunk to go to the toilet,’ said a police spokesman. “The next morning he put a switched-on hairdryer on the bed to dry it and left the apartment.’ When the 60-year-old returned, his home and belongings were in flames.

Firemen eventually put out the blaze. — Reuters

The German, who was unnamed in news reports, is today’s Stupid Person of the Day.