Last Tuesday evening, Cleber Dos Santos, 29, of Framingham, Mass., was jumping on his three-foot (1m) high trampoline, and suddenly decided to dive headfirst into the two-foot (60cm) high inflatable swimming pool standing next to it.

“He’s alive, and we’ll pray for his recovery,” said Framingham Police Lt. Vincent Alfano. “It was a very preventable accident. You should not dive into 2 feet of water . . . it serves as a serious reminder of diving safety and trampoline safety.” — Boston Herald

Santos broke his fifth cervical vertebra - an injury which means his spine should be functional above the fifth vertebra, giving him some upper body movement, according to a local physical therapist. — Boston Herald follow-up

Today’s Stupid Person of the Day, unfortunately, is likely to spend the rest of his life paralyzed.

A Kentucky man shot and killed his friend after a disagreement over the Iraq war heated up.

Douglas Moore, 65, of Martin, shot and killed Harold Wayne Smith, 56, of Manchester, at a Floyd County flea market on Thursday.

Kentucky state police said he appeared to have acted in self-defense and released him without filing charges.

Another witness, Chuck Newsome, said yesterday the Sept. 11 attacks also were included in the argument, which quickly escalated into an altercation and then to a kind of showdown in front of the market’s snack stand.

After a scuffle, Newsome said he saw Smith stand beside the snack shed, pull a small pistol out of his pocket, cock the hammer and say, “I’m going to blow your … brains out.” — Lexington Herald-Leader

“I’m sorry this has happened,” Moore, a retired railroad worker, said. “But then what’s done can’t be undone.” Moore told the Lexington reporter he thinks Smith and his family knew him well enough “to know what my thoughts are, his family does, because me and Harold was friends. That’s all I’ll say.” — Editor & Publisher

Well, that’s one way to settle a dispute: a good old-fashioned Wild West showdown at high noon.

A Russian man suspected of real estate fraud went on a reality TV show. His victim recognized him from TV, and he was subsequently arrested.

Alexei Avdeev went on Russia’s ДОМ-2 (Dom-2) reality TV show, and his victim, from whom he stole $1,900 by posing as a real estate agent in Smolensk, recognized him and contacted police.

The suspect, Alexei Avdeev, was detained right in the reality show’s filming area and sent to a detention center in the western Russian city of Smolensk. He has already served a sentence in Smolensk’s prison colony for car theft and bribery of an official. — MosNews

Avdeev faces five years back in prison if convicted.

Okay, if you’re on the run from the law, the last thing you do is go on national television. Congratulations, Alexei Avdeev, you’re today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

An unidentified man in Exeter, N.H., got drunk one night and had a padlock locked around his testicles by one of his friends. Then the key broke off in the lock and this idiot waited two weeks before calling for help.

Police have not identified the 39-year-old man, but said that after the key broke off, he tried sawing the lock off with a hacksaw.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident. — Internet Broadcasting Systems

Now I don’t know about you, but I not only wouldn’t let a hacksaw anywhere near my testicles in the first place, I wouldn’t let a padlock anywhere near them either, no matter how drunk I was. Oh, and the motive is pretty obvious. As soon as police identify him, please mail a brand new padlock to today’s Stupid Person of the Day to replace the one destroyed in this incident.

Thanks to The Jawa Report.

A man who killed his wife because she wanted to cuddle after having sex has received the death penalty.

Christopher Offord, 30, of Panama City, Fla., was sentenced to death Wednesday for the brutal slaying, in which he hit his wife some 70 times with a hammer — after having sex with her.

And why did he do this? After having sex, he wanted to watch sports on TV. Offord confessed later to a bartender in a local sports bar, who notified police.

Whether you deserve to die for this or not, you’re today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

A 52-year-old woman from Dania Beach, Fla., was arrested Wednesday for attempting to open the exit door on a United Airlines flight as it was descending into Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.

She failed to open the exit door of the Boeing 737, but did set off a warning light in the cockpit.

A flight attendant was able to persuade the woman to return to her seat, and the plane landed safely.

Police have not yet released the name of today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

More news coverage from the Associated Press.

In order to promote their new book, Write It Right: The Ground Rules for Self-Editing Like the Pros, authors Dawn Josephson and Lauren Hidden have declared their support for August 22 as National Punctuation Day. According to the authors, “Most people know when to use periods, exclamation marks, and questions marks, but semicolons, colons, and quotations pose greater challenges.”

While self-editing can be troublesome, Write It Right breaks it down into five easy steps and includes examples, so readers can learn exactly what their strengths and weaknesses are. The book also goes into detail about the correct way to use punctuation marks like the serial comma, semicolon, colon and quotation marks so that you’ll always know how to write it right! — Press release

Being able to communicate properly sets you apart as having greater intelligence than those who cannot. We here at Make Stupidity History will support anyone who wants to learn to improve their writing and communication skills.

Karen DeCosta, 52, of Revere, Mass., was charged Monday with trying to kidnap her daughter, who is in the custody of the girl’s father, and contracting to have him killed.

“She gave me some money up front and the deal was that she was gonna work out all the details and then we’d meet again tomorrow when I had the child and she’d give me the rest of the money,” the undercover officer told WCVB-TV.

Hm, I suspect there’s a good reason the courts took away custody from today’s Stupid Person of the Day.

The current bid for a piece of whole-grain toast on eBay is $72.00, and it’s expected to rise even higher.

At least 14 Harry Potter fans have been involved in a bidding war over a piece of toast with an image of book character Aldus Dumbledore obviously carved into it.

There will probably be many more stupid people bidding before the auction ends in about two days.

Now, where did I put my toaster? I think it’s going to pop out some toast with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named on it.

Update August 2: eBay has wised up and pulled the auction listing. Sorry!