August 6, 2005

Drunk man gets testicles locked in padlock for two weeks

Filed under: Alcoholic Stupidity, NSFW — Michael Hampton @ 9:56 am

An unidentified man in Exeter, N.H., got drunk one night and had a padlock locked around his testicles by one of his friends. Then the key broke off in the lock and this idiot waited two weeks before calling for help.

Police have not identified the 39-year-old man, but said that after the key broke off, he tried sawing the lock off with a hacksaw.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident. — Internet Broadcasting Systems

Now I don’t know about you, but I not only wouldn’t let a hacksaw anywhere near my testicles in the first place, I wouldn’t let a padlock anywhere near them either, no matter how drunk I was. Oh, and the motive is pretty obvious. As soon as police identify him, please mail a brand new padlock to today’s Stupid Person of the Day to replace the one destroyed in this incident.

Thanks to The Jawa Report.

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